Ah, the great chamois cream debate. It's a question that has divided the road cycling community for centuries (or at least since the invention of the bicycle seat... And chamois cream).
To use or not to use? That is the question. Well, fear not my dear cycling buddies, for I am here to weigh in on the matter and provide you with my own two cents on this sore topic. Don't worry. It'll all turn out peachy in the end (see what I did there? 😉.... [cough]).
For those of you who are new to road cycling, you may be wondering, what on earth is chamois cream? Well, it's a cream that you apply to your nether regions (yes, that's right, we're talking about around your bums 🍑 and plums 🍒) before a long ride. The idea is to reduce friction and chafing between your skin and your cycling shorts, which can lead to some rather uncomfortable (and even painful) situations.
Now, some road cyclists swear by chamois cream, claiming that it's an essential part of their long distance cycling routine. They'll wax lyrical about the soothing, cooling sensation of the cream, and how it's saved them from a world of discomfort. Others, however, are firmly in the "no cream" camp, arguing that it's unnecessary and just another unneeded expense.
Personally, I'm firmly in the "use the cream" camp when preparing for a long ride (by 'long' I'm personally meaning anything over 50 - 60+ miles). Not only does it reduce friction and chafing but it also provides a nice cooling sensation that can be rather refreshing on a hot summer's day. Not to mention the slight tingle that can sometimes provide an unexpected, cheap thrill 😳. Plus, it's always nice to have a little extra cushioning between your sensitive bits and the hard plastic of your bike seat.
But let's be honest, the real reason that the chamois cream debate is so heated is that it's
just a bit ridiculous. I mean, before getting into road cycling, who would have thought that we'd be applying cream to our unmentionables before a bike ride? It's the kind of thing that makes non-cyclists raise an eyebrow and wonder what on earth we're doing with our lives. Especially when you forget to lock the bathroom door and your wife walks in to catch you mid-application!
Picture the scene if you will... A grown man... On his own in the bathroom... Lycra shorts around his ankles with no other clothing in sight until you get above the waistline... Massaging himself into a creamy lather around the 'unmentionable zone'... Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, your other half walks in all innocently to ask if you want a cuppa... Let's face it guys. No matter what way you look at that situation, you'll have a hard time explaining it in a court of law.
So, my pedigree chums, the choice is yours. To use or not to use? Vote below 👇 Whatever you decide, just remember to always have a good sense of humour about it. After all, we're just a bunch of grown adults, riding around on two-wheeled machines, with cream around our nadgers. And that, my friends, is a rather ridiculous thought no matter which way you think about it!
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